When you move on from someone, it’s not necessarily something that you can schedule. It’s not just something that you can count down to with days, hours, or minutes. It’s not a date that you can mark on a calendar. It’s not a deadline that you can just give yourself. You aren’t going to be able to plan for it. You won’t be able to anticipate when you’re going to achieve it and get it over with.
Whenever you move on from someone, there aren’t going to be any special fireworks, parades, parties, or celebrations that await you. Your friends aren’t going to be planning a party for you. The world isn’t going to hold its breath in anticipation. When you move on, it’s only you who will know for sure.
Moving on is like healing from a fever. You’re going to be a little sick for a short period of time. Throughout the entire process, you’re going to feel bad. The condition might worsen over time and it might even start to affect the other aspects of your life. But then, you just wake up one day and you realize that the pain and discomfort are gone. Moving on from an ex is a lot like that.
Moving on from someone is you essentially forgetting and letting go of the parts of yourself that no longer deserve a space in your life. You start to forget what it tastes like to kiss this person. You forget the scent of this individual. You forget how it feels to touch them and hear them laugh. You forget the feeling of seeing them smile. You forget about all of the little things that you used to take notice of.
And it’s not an instantaneous process. It’s a gradual one. You slowly distance yourself from this person. You subtly let go of the little things that you used to hold on to for dear life. It’s like knowing a song by heart one day… but then a few weeks, months, or years go by and you don’t even remember the lyrics anymore.
You shouldn’t look at the process of moving on as if it’s you just turning a page of a new book. No. Moving on from someone you used to love is like throwing the book away and just starting a new one altogether. You’re given a new blank canvas for you to work with. The stories of your past are gone and you’re no longer working with them. You’re now working with new narratives. You’re focusing on completely new storylines and characters.
Moving on means that you’re starting from scratch. You’ve completely let go of all the old memories and old story structures. You are no longer obsessing about everything that used to be. You’re no longer clinging on to all the old details and intricacies. Instead, you’re more excited about the things that await you. You’re more exhilarated at the idea of you starting things up with something new.
Moving on is you just getting over the fact that everything has come crumbling down into a pile of rubble. You no longer care for the building blocks that have toppled over. You are now completely focused on everything that you have to build from scratch. You are now completely focused on starting a new structure – and it’s something that excites you more than anything else in your life.
Moving on is you essentially waking up in the feeling with thoughts of the present and the future. You no longer wake up in the morning thinking about the past and the what-could-have-been scenarios. You are no longer obsessing about opportunities lost. You are no longer obsessing over wasted potential. When you truly move on from someone, you will only start to care about everything that you can do in your life in the present moment.
But it’s essential that you never rush yourself in the process of moving on. It’s essential that you don’t push yourself to move on if you’re not ready to do so. You shouldn’t be pressuring yourself to get over someone if you’re not ready to do so. You only ever move on when it’s the right time for you to do so.
And once you move on from heartbreak, it will be a breath of fresh air. You will feel a rebirth within you. It will be a second wind. And you’ll feel free to live life with happiness once again.
The more you understand yourself, the more silence there is, the healthier you are. —Maxime Lagacé